"Aye Aye! Ahoy Hoy!

The Unstoppable Talking Panjandrum Is Back In Town!

Celebrating 50 Years Afloat On The Showbiz Seas!

Dead Men Tell No Tales - So Might As Well Get Em All Told Now!

Avast! Two Thundering Hours Guaranteed!

“An Absolutely Blistering Night Out!” - The Isle Of Arran Shoemaker’s Monthly

“Indiscreet Revelations Told With Swashbuckling Verve!” - Some Genius On Twitter

As Seen On BBC1, BBC2, BBC4 And Virtually Every Radio Station In The Known World! (Even Pirate Ones)

Positively Final Voyage! All Aboard!"

Age Guidance 14+ - likely to be swearing and adult content.